Staying Connected with Your Daughter When You’re Not at Home National Parents Center

Staying Connected with Your Daughter When You’re Not at Home

July 1, 2011 – 9:29 pm

So youre going away and leaving your daughter at home. Are you worried that youll lose your connection with your child; that somehow your absence will damage his growth and development; that your strong, positive relationship will diminish while youre gone?

Well, worry if you must. But set the timer for five minutes and stop when the buzzer goes off. Worry gets you nowhere, and it even cuts off your creative juices, preventing you from thinking of ways to maximize your time away and coming up with strategies that will benefit your child as well as yourself.

Of course, you wont be wandering off into the wild blue yonder. You already have all your technology in place: cell phone, emails, Skype and text messages that will keep you in contact.

But here are five additional suggestions that will keep you connected while youre gone and give you confidence that you and your child are cemented in spirit even though youre separated in body.

When my daughters were young—and even now that theyre grown—we would often send each other hugs, and its amazing how real, how warm and how visceral they feel. I typically say, Im sending you a hug right now, and we both know this is the signal to close our eyes to block out any distraction that would get in the way of our mutual embrace. Okay, wait a minute. Are you ready? Then we pause to envision ourselves hugging each other. Alright, here it comes. Then we wait several seconds for the hug to reach the other person, wash over and sink in. Do you believe it? Just try it and youll experience how powerful and authentic and connecting it is.

Or you can pull out her schedule before you go away and write notes that pertain to the specific activities or events of each day—a word of encouragement for the soccer game, a good luck with her science project, a note of support for the spelling quiz and a smile of fun at the birthday party. Seal each envelope and put the appropriate date on the front so she can open each card on the relevant day.

Being away from your child can be a positive time for both of you. For you, its a reprieve from the daily grind, the responsibility and the stress of caring you’re your child. Its a time for mutual letting go—healthy for you and for your child because he learns some self-reliance and independence which, in turn, increase his self-esteem. So whether youre away on business or pleasure, relax. Make the most of your time away knowing that when you return, all will be well.

National Parents Center